Zurich Demands Swiss Gambling Laws Include Psychiatrists for Addicts

The Canton (independent district) of Zurich, Switzerland is extremely concerned about a lack of psychotherapy and long-term treatment options for the ‘thousands of delirious men and women roaming our city streets, endlessly driven by what they crave most.”

No, Zurich wasn’t talking about the geriatric members of the 3rd Reich, the global terrorists, the mafia godfathers from every country on earth, the drug kingpins, hijackers, practitioners of genocide, Ugandan slavers, Somali pirates, Mexican assassins, kidnappers, ruthless dictators, sex traffickers and all hardened professional thieves, embezzlers or bank robbers.

In Zurich’s eyes, those fine examples of humanity are all valued clients of the Swiss world famous numbered bank account system and only deserve the upmost courtesy, respect and praise.

The Canton of Zurich is despondent over ‘inadequate’ funding for psychiatric care for lotto and slot players as well as residents who enjoy playing at traditional or online casinos in Switzerland.

The Swiss government quickly acknowledged this shameful conduct on its own part, and blamed it on an ‘inexcusable lack of foresight’. Perhaps after spending all day dealing with clients who mutually murdered more people than the Bubonic plague, it’s hard to remember those depraved slot players.

The bill specifically includes free treatment for low-income residents.

Politicians are ready to introduce an amendment to Swiss gambling laws and earmark a portion of the revenues generated by gambling towards intensive inpatient, long term treatment options including daily psychiatric counseling.

A new governmental agency will be created to oversee this monumental task. The Psychiatric Monitoring of Gambling Addicts Agency, according to online gambling news in Switzerland, is to – “have subject-specific technical know-how and related capabilities. The concept of close collaboration with other agencies must be the cornerstone of this reform. We cannot sit back, watch and do nothing.”