Formula One Bets More Safety For Boring Boys Is Better

The posh-boys motor club is back as the teams get pre-season testing underway but with new rules, the same old bitching and no decisions on the long term future of the sport, nearly everyone who knows anything about Formula One bets this season will be a carbon copy of the last.

Testing Times For F1

• Circuit de Catalunya
• Pre-season tests
• Drivers square off
• New qualifying
• Big decisions postponed

You have to give Formula One credit. For a sport that is rapidly dying on its arse through the sort of over regulation that US Republicans would use in their stump speeches (if only anyone in the US knew what Formula One actually is) it manages to emulate the cars themselves in at least terms of volume, contriving to wring every last drop of press and media attention it can out of what is, lets face it, just another season in which Mercedes will beat Ferrari.

A few day’s testing on the Circuit de Catalunya and already the drivers are pointlessly needling each other, there’s team bosses bemoaning the lack of competition likely in the season ahead and Bernie Ecclestone who recently said “I wouldn’t spent my money to take my family to watch a race. No way.” Which is hardly a ringing endorsement from the the sport’s chief executive. Of course anyone who watches Formula One bets that this year will be different, will be better, but so far, it’s more of the same.

How can anyone bring more safety to this sport? (Photo: Tom Gandolfini, AFP/Getty Images)

For a start it’s still Mercedes and Ferrari leading the pack by a fair margin, their cars “evolutions” of those that came before, which is a flashy way of saying if-it-ain’t-broke-don’t-fix-it, and whilst it was the red car of Sebastien Vettel that was quickest, it was the Mercedes of Lewis Hamilton that put in the most laps, and right now car reliability sticks out way more than mere speed. Those that like to take advantage of UK gambling laws will almost certainly want to back one of the two in their Formula One bets.

F1 Drivers Call Each Other Boring In Statement Of The Obvious

The drivers of both teams, because they’ve no sense of their own ridiculousness and still believe that being able to travel at 200mph in a romper-suit is somehow big and clever, have already launched into the creation of a pre-season soap opera by attempting to portray each other as boring. This is highly amusing given that it’s very much akin to watching car-factory production line robots have a fight over who has the most interesting personality. The only difference being the car-factory robots are useful.

Talking drivers reaction times…

It was the comment of Sebastian Vettel to the effect that Mercedes domination made F1 boring that prompted the most raised eyebrows, especially from Hamilton and team mate Nico Rosberg both of whom were less than pleased. Hamilton particularly, saying; “That’s pretty funny because he had four years of it and I’ve only had two. Until I get to his level I won’t have bored them as much as he had.” Although which team in Formula One bets being able to count to two and four makes their drivers interesting is another story.

“We are where we are,” said Nico Rosberg with complete certainty, not realizing that everyone is where they are and can’t really be anywhere else, “Because we are the best at the moment.” Which is true, just so long as you equate the word “best” with the phrase “team-that-has-the-biggest-budget”, and the youngster went on to sniff that “It would be nice to be a bit more respectful of our achievements.” Which anyone who bets on sports in the UK will find utterly laughable coming from someone who threw things at his own team mate at the end of last season. Respect? Seriously Nico? You can’t spell it.

Formula One Bets On New Format

Of course anyone who watches Formula One bets that each new season will bring a random selection of rule changes as the powers that be continue to believe that eventually they’ll be able to make it interesting again, and this year is no different. Of course the big decisions about the technical side of the 2017 season were postponed, because if there’s one thing F1 does well it’s leaving things till it’s too late and then throwing up its hands in despair, although 2017 will see an introduction of the safety halo.

This year, however, we get a new qualifying format from the FIA, because apparently the old one was too predictable (a term applicable to the entire sport) which will see the slowest drivers eliminated every ninety seconds after a time period, although I doubt anyone is seriously gambling news of this change will see Mercedes and Ferrari worry they won’t be sitting up front come the first race in Australia. This is entirely in keeping with F1, a cosmetic change that does absolutely nothing to fix the issues. Classic.

Mercedes have won 32 of the last 38 races and started on pole in all but one race last season, it’s unlikely that will change just because of some obtuse change to qualifying, which is why without even a sniff of a race yet Lewis Hamilton is 4/9 at Bet365 to be the next World Champion, with Nico on 3/1, Vettle on 4/1 and no one else with a hope in hell. So just put a bunch on Lewis, a cover on Nico and then just don’t spoil it all by actually watching these over-paid posh pillocks bore their way through another season. Just check the results come the autumn.