Elderly Jewish Women Accused of Illegal Gambling, Actually just Playing Mahjong

Several elderly Jewish women have been accused by authorities of masquerading their illicit gambling den as a friendly weekly game of mahjong.

In breaking US gambling news, there has been a police raid on the Escondido Condominium clubhouse in Altamonte Springs, Florida. Elderly Jewish women Lee Delnick, Bernice Diamond, Helen Greenspan and Zelda King—all ages 87 to 95—were charged with violating a local law that prohibits playing mahjong for money, and were ordered to take their tiles and leave.

An anonymous source in the Escondido complex—rumored to live in Building 11—tipped off the cops on the ladies’ shifty Thursday ritual.

King tried to justify her and her friends’ participation in the game by explaining that her neurologist told her that playing mahjong is a good way to “delay and possibly prevent dementia.” She is outraged over the bust and the inconvenience it has caused, saying in a statement that: “This is ridiculous. We haven’t played in the clubhouse for weeks! We have to go to each other’s homes to play and not everyone lives in Escondido. It is an international game and we are being crucified!”

Should the elderly Jewish women be allowed to play mahjong?

According to a thorough investigation into the case by the Florida Jewish News, the elderly Jewish women were not actually breaking any US gambling laws by playing the Chinese tile game every week with their friends.

The Florida Jewish News source said that it “appears there is no ordinance in Altamonte Springs against mahjong” and that “certain penny-ante games are not crimes” so long as the game: does not exceed $10 in value; takes place in an a residential or common area in a building in which at least one of the participants is a unit owner; and has participants who are at least 18 years of age. Check, check, and check.

This evidence, while good for King and her friends, likely came as an unpleasant surprise to the nosy neighbor in Building 11 who was so keen on putting an end to the ladies’ scandalous activities. The anonymous killjoy will have to put up with it for good now, however, as the elderly Jewish women have been cleared by police to resume their weekly games in Escondido after Thanksgiving. Mazel tov!