Duke and Duchess of Sussex Casino Job Offer

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Posted: January 28, 2020

Updated: January 28, 2020

  • Casinos pay well for the unskilled
  • Cocktail waitress and valet in waiting
  • In the words of the Everly brothers: Dream, Dream, Dream

 

One can only wonder if the Duke and Duchess of Sussex casino job offer is real. Prince Harry and Meghan Markle recently announced that they were “stepping back” from their Royal duties. They want to live like plebs and go down the pub or pop into the bookies, like Unibet. No they don’t! They say that they want to be “financially self sufficient.” Too funny if it wasn’t closer to tragedy. Pass me my gin and tonic. Let’s have a look shall we?

Introduction: Duke and Duchess of Sussex Casino Job Offer

Of course, many people are caring and generous of spirit. Maybe they have experience of some hard times during the course of their lives. So it’s normal to reach out to those in need. With the ex-royals soon to have to rely on their own millions, a California casino is offering the couple a much needed life-line. Keep in mind that the casino industry offers great salaries for low skilled workers. And then there are the tips on top. Sounds like a very generous offer.

It’s Not a publicity Stunt

The Sherwood Valley Casino, a small tribal casino in Willits, Mendocino County, put out a press release last week. It stated that they had contacted the Royal Couple to propose that they could explore both philanthropic and business opportunities together. Yeah, like an online betting shop such as Unibet. I can only imagine the sheer joy, that must of passed through the Sussex’s soon to be evicted household, must of felt. Not a dry eye in the house.

OK…Maybe It Is

The casino’s general manager, Michael J. Broderick, told Willits News that the offer was both heart-felt and absolutely sincere. “A few weeks ago, we had heard through our media and entertainment industry friends in Los Angeles that The Duchess had been in conversations with Disney to do some work with charitable implications, and we thought that was great,” explained Broderick. “But it was real hush-hush and rumors — nothing concrete. However, since we had got the indication that there would be the possibility that The Duke and Duchess were entertaining the idea of working with different private companies, we thought it would be a great idea to approach them and throw our hat in the ring, so to say. We wanted to be part of the conversation.” No you don’t! You just want to piggy-back your small casino off their names.

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Duke and Duchess of Sussex trying to look useful

Hollywood Friends

Apparently a number of casino managers, a tribal elder and a few buddies in Hollywood all got together and brainstormed ideas. Such caring and sharing people. Makes one proud. They got their Hollywood connections to dig up the couple’s direct contact information. Well, as direct as their personal secretaries. Without pointing a finger….I’m guessing George Clooney is somehow not far from the crime scene. “We think there might be an opportunity to work with the Sussex’s in order to improve the lives of Indigenous peoples locally and nationally, and we are ready to partner with them if they are. (Bro tip: you’re nuts, it’ll never happen and you should go back to parking cars at your casino). And, if they need employment, we can look at that, too. Sherwood Valley Casino is always looking for great friendly people to become part of our casino family.” What is he smoking?

Meghan on Netflix

As Eminem says, “Snap back to reality, ope there goes gravity,” the soon to be ex-royals have remained silent about this generous offer. I do hope they’re not being stuck up about it…I mean a job’s a job. Because she’s a woman of color and he’s a ginger, they really should take what they can. Online sportsbook news in the UK has other ideas for the fragrant couple. The bookmakers have them at 2/1 to divorce within the next five years, and 10/1 to be stripped of their royal titles completely. As for meaningful work, well, the odds of becoming social media influencer’s are 14/1 and to star in their own reality TV show, 12/1. There are odds of 100/1 that Meghan will play herself in the Netflix hit drama, The Crown.

Leave Them Alone

On the other hand, according to online sportsbook sites in the UK, people think that the possibility of them living out their years as financially independent and happily ever after, into their sunset years, are a more realistic, 2/1. There are no odds given to the pair working in a Californian tribal casino. But it’s early days.

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