7 Ways To Spot A VX Nerve Gas Attack On Your Local Casino

Following the cases of Alexander Litvinenko and Kim Jong Nam, and now the attempted murder of Sergei Skripal and his daughter, it is obvious that the days of only having to worry about guns, explosives and hijacked jetliners are over. These days there are far worse weapons out there, but how could you tell if you local casino in India, Macau or Las Vegas is attacked with one of these murderous modern-day monstrosities? We take a look at seven signs to look out for.

1. Muscular Spasm

One of the most immediate effects of any VX nerve gas attack on your local casino, especially one in gaseous form, will be violent involuntary muscle spasms in those exposed. So should any of the staff or your fellow patrons suddenly appear to be convulsing in pain, double check – Particularly if you begin to see elderly gamblers at the slot machines appearing to replicate some of the more tricky body-popping moves you saw in early 1980s music videos. If you feel your own muscles spasm, it’s too late.

2. Nausea & Vomiting

Like some of the bar snacks in a poker room in India VX Nerve gas immediately attacks the respiratory and digestive systems which, coupled 7-ways-spot-VX-nerve-gas-attack-your-local-casino
with a lack of muscular control, will render most victims nauseated to the point of vomiting relatively quickly. Should your croupier suddenly spew her lunch across the green beige of the blackjack table in your local casino be sure to clarify that it’s morning sickness or food poisoning before relaxing, it may be an attack by more than spicy nibbles.

3. Shortness of Breath

The excitement of gambling can often leave one breathless however if you begin to feel yourself start to asphyxiate the chances are you’ve been exposed to more than the exhilaration of a little flutter. Likewise should you see anyone fall the ground, begin to turn blue and thrash about like a fish on a boat deck, you may want to check your local casino isn’t under attack by some sort of nerve agent. Possibly from the safety of home, the nearest major hospital emergency room or any McDonalds.

4. Blindness

Online gambling in India, or anywhere else, for any great length of time at one sitting can cause one’s eyes to ache somewhat, however it rarely results in blindness (unlike prolonged porn browsing) and it is even more unlikely that gambling in your local casino could cause loss of sight. This means that if you suddenly find your eyeballs melting from their sockets there’s a good chance it’s not just that cheap vodka you’ve been swilling but a gas attack of some variety. Check it’s not the croupier’s flatulence.

5. Loss Of Bowel & Bladder Control

Obviously the ubiquity of elderly gamblers in your local casino means that daily someone will suffer this embarrassment within, however if the pretty hostesses start to leave a trail of feces across the lurid carpet pattern you might want to just check you’re not under chemical or biological attack. Naturally it will be important to check that they’ve not just had some of the seafood platter before you jump to conclusions and any symptoms you experience yourself could well just be that sushi you had for lunch.

6. The Arrival Of The CDC At Your Local Casino

This is a dead giveaway that something is amiss. Should the salubrious interior of your local casino suddenly be wall-to-wall men in hazmat suits trying to get you naked and into a mobile decontamination shower unit the chances are your local casino has become a target for a nerve gas or other chemical agent based attack. Follow their instructions to the letter and, if a biological agent was used on you, don’t refuse the blindfold when they shoot you so they can burn your body for safety.

7. Death

So effective are some modern day chemical weapons that one may not have enough time to register that much of anything is wrong. You may experience a rapid loss of consciousness or merely lapse into a coma so quickly the only indication you’ll be aware of that you’ve been victim of a nerve gas attack in your local casino is finding yourself dead. It is imperative in these circumstance to stop placing bets immediately, not even Indian gambling laws permit the deceased from engaging in games of chance.