7 Unorthodox Hungarian Tactics The Norwegians May Face

Norway Up Against Hungary
• Two legged fixture in November
• Play-off to reach Euro 2016 finals
• Hungarians may try unorthodox tactics

The Norwegians are probably relieved they don’t have to play either Denmark or Sweden, who drew each other, in the play-offs of Euro 2016 but they will have to battle their way past the Hungarians if they want to enjoy the finals in France next year. 

With everything to play for in the two legged fixture this November the young Norwegian team may well find themselves up against some unorthodox Hungarian tactics, so here are seven strategies the men from Norway may have to prepare for.

1. Fencing

Just Google “fencing Hungary” for more details (spoiler alert: you won’t see many foils, épées, or sabres, despite the fact that Hungarians are champions of this particular sport)

The unorthodox Hungarian tactics may be to try and protect their half of the pitch with fencing. 

No, I don’t mean they’ll all be carrying thin-bladed swords, but more that they’re entirely capable of erecting a large metal barrier and having the military guard it insisting that anyone who isn’t Hungarian wanting to pass through has to undertake a lengthy registration process. This paperwork could well dent the Norwegian attack and force their mid-field to play through Croatia instead.

2. Territorial Acquisition

Unorthodox Hungarian tactics may involve claiming that, as well as their own half, a good portion of the other half of the pitch also belongs to them because some of the people there (their own forwards for example) speak Hungarian. Appeals will be made to all Hungarian speakers to return to their own portion of the pitch gambling news of that ilk will put a lot of Magyars behind the ball when the Norwegians want to move forward in the final third, limiting opportunities for them to score.

3. Soup

The Norwegian love of fish is well known and the unorthodox Hungarian tactics may be to play upon this weakness by serving their visitors the local specialty fish soup.

Therefore, ignore the fish soup while in Hungary (try gulyas instead)   (Photo: BBC Food)

To prepare this merely go to any river, scoop up a bucket of water that includes a few fish, hack randomly at them with a knife, pour the whole lot into a cauldron, add paprika and heat until everyone is bored waiting for it. The shocking horror of this concoction could well knock the Norwegians out of Euro 2016 before they’ve even taken the field.

4. Replacement Of Officials

Learning from their own government’s habit of ensuring all official oversight is in their pocket at the outset, the Hungarian side could decide that their best strategy for the game could be to replace the referee with someone already predisposed towards their side in any dispute with the Norwegians. Should there be any really dodgy penalty decisions made or red cards doled out Norway should probably ask for a DNA test on the match officials just in case there have been some unorthodox Hungarian tactics at work.

5. The Law

Whilst the first leg is in Norway on a Thursday the return leg is in Hungary on a Sunday and given Hungary’s already really quite draconian Sunday-trading laws the unorthodox Hungarian tactics might just be to have the Norwegian goal-keeper arrested for being open on the sabbath, drag the local tax authorities in to investigate him, demand all receipts he’s gained in the last five years and have the rest of the team detained as accomplices for aiding and abetting a criminal which would be most disappointing for those that like to bet bet on sports in Norway and who’ve wagered on the game.

6. Russia

The unorthodox Hungarian tactics could be to choose to play the Paks gambit whereby (as they did with their nuclear power station) they contract the Russians at massively over-inflated prices to build six more goals that they neither need or want, have them constructed near the original goal and hopefully confuse the Norwegians so badly they start aiming for the wrong one. You’ll notice if this happens, there will be Russian jets flying combat air patrols over the stadium.

7. Unorthodox Hungarian Tactics May Involve Playing Football

The unorthodox Hungarian tactics that the Norwegians might well find themselves facing could just be the Hungarians actually playing football, a strategy that will almost certainly surprise anyone who has taken advantage of Norwegian gambling laws to bet on the game at ComeOn! Sportsbook or the like. A cohesive build up, a bit of one-touch football, a cunning ball in to fool the defense and a deft finish could put the Norwegians a goal or two down before they know it. Yes, yes it is quite unlikely, isn’t it?