Kidnappers and Pirates Enjoy Sportsbooks and Online Casinos in Yemen

There are very few countries in the world where returning visitors can truthfully say that they miss the good old days of violence, crime, anger and hate. Yemen is just such a country. Returning visitors will be in for a real treat, since Yemeni residents have been toiling hard to make Yemen even more violent, dangerous, angry, fanatical, xenophobic, deranged, cruel, and more corrupt and crime rime ridden than ever before.

All forms of gambling are illegal under Yemeni gambling laws except for private bets between competing archers and jockeys in horse or camel races. A complete breakdown of Yemeni society and endless corruption only means that punishment is handed out in a random and unpredictable fashion.

In the past, tourists compared the level of danger when visiting Yemen to entering a gauntlet with a Russian roulette multi-stage heads-up tournament. Scowling Yemeni hotel employees place bets on tourists each morning to forecast who won’t return alive, who will get kidnapped for ransom or perhaps sold into sex slavery in Yemen (both men and women).

To risk publicly placing a bet on sports in Yemen could incite the local inhabitants to riot and murder. Yemeni men are usually in a highly agitated state and a quick murder is a culturally accepted norm along with daily use of powerful stimulants.

It’s easier to wager on sports in the privacy of your own home while enraged drug addicts battle each other outside. It’s quite cozy to hide inside a steel tub in the bathroom and place bets at online sportsbooks in Yemen while gun shots and screams from outside add an extra sound track to the internet music channel.

The majority of Yemeni residents are employed in the following positions/organizations/fields: groups of machine-gun toting drug addicts, pirates and carjackers,entourage of an illiterate imam, fanatical Muslim fighters, suicide bomber trainees and xenophobic tribesman who long ago decided that no profession is more honorable than kidnapper, robber and sex slaver.

Besides Yemen, Somalia is the only other country whose residents wholeheartedly approve of piracy and considers kidnapping to be a highly ethical occupation. Somalis and Yemeni have been friends, relatives and crime partners for thousands of years. The residents of the two countries frequently intermarry and have no support from even a single other country throughout the world.

The two countries are separated by only 30 miles of water, which has been repeatedly called the most dangerous waterway in the world. Yemenites have nothing to fear from Somali pirates, and in fact often join them for a bit of robbery, rape and murder. It is rumored that some of the biggest pirates operate multiple online casinos in Yemen.

According to the Encyclopedia of Yemen, 80% of the males and 45% of females are daily users of Khat, an alkaloid with similar volatile properties as crystal methamphetamine used concurrently with strong alcohol. Educators blame the daily use of Khat on Yemeni poor memory, diminished learning abilities, violent moods, hostility and cruelty. Eleven years ago, Yemen agreed to improve the country’s literacy rate to 5% of the entire population from 3% by 2025. 

Only individuals who resemble the stereotyped caricature of an Arab protester chanting, ululating and screaming while demonstrating on TV will have the highest chance of ‘fitting in’ and surviving a visit.

Yemeni men are normally scowling , skull-cap and flowing robewearing, unkempt bearded, wild eyed, always angry, violent, anti-(add any country ), irrational and dangerous. Yemeni women are rarely seen but are rumored to enjoy spending hours each day slow torturing pre-teen slaves while high on Khat.

It is rumored that every wife of all twenty leaders of the largest syndicate of sex slavers play online poker in Yemen as a team and cheat foreign based poker rooms.

Over the past five years, every Muslim terrorist origination in the world has moved their headquarters to Yemen. So if you feel comfortable in a Yemeni poker rooms surrounded by deranged terrorists, amphetamine popping murderers, assassins, pirates, suicide bombers in training, decapitators, sex slavers, torturers and religious fanatics from all over the world,  than the wonders of Yemen await you.

Just buy a lot of life insurance first.