Arctic Race of Norway Stalked By A Leopard

The Arctic Race of Norway went off without a hitch for the third time this year but that’s probably because the local military monitored the race and was sure to let the cycling hoards know just what they were up against, something the Helsinki police over in Finland might now be considering.

I should perhaps be clear at the outset that I am not advocating the use of depleted uranium ammunition on cyclists, nor indeed the deployment of heavy armor main battle tanks in the field to range against them. It would be entirely unsporting, and frankly a job far more suited to some sort of anti-aircraft artillery firing on a low deflection, or possibly one of those completely indiscriminate clusterbombs that look so impressive on Youtube.

Arctic Race Of Norway

• Kristoff fails to win at home
• Army keep an eye on race
• Protestors in Helsinki show why

That said it was not entirely displeasing to see the Norwegians gambling laws nature could be easily underlined by having a Leopard 2A4 tank speed along next to the competitors in the Arctic Race of Norway, reminding each and every one of them that no matter how many performance enhancing drugs they’re on being run over by a 62 ton tracked vehicle tends to turn three dimensional cyclists into two dimensional cyclists, briefly, after which it minces them.

“We wanted to give them a warm welcome.” said Lieutenant Colonel Pal Berglund as if he’d have authorized the use of napalm if he could have got away with it. However the commander of Brigade North, through whose camp the race was passing, instead merely sent a large German-designed death machine to keep an eye on the lycra-clad loonies as they sped through Setermoen during the Arctic Race of Norway on Friday.

Arctic Race Of Norway Won By Estonian

The four stage Arctic Race of Norway has only been run twice before but is gaining in popularity for it being the northern most race available on the men’s cycling calendar. The 2013 edition was won by local boy Thor Hushovd, and last year it was the Dutchman Steven Kruijswijk that took the win, but this year all eyes were on the big frame of Alexander Kristoff who was tipped to do well but in the end it was the cohesive Astana team that saw Estonian Rein Taaramae take the win for them.

Now whilst the Norwegian army was busy showing cyclists the sort of fire power they have at their disposal, and there’s nothing like smoothbore gyro-stablized 120mm gun bouncing along next to you for highlighting that, over in Finland was the sort of incident that proves precisely why cyclists need to be reminded every now and then that ComeOn! Sportsbook would give them ridiculously bad odds if push came to shove. Shoving a cyclist has them off into a wall, shoving a Leopard 2A4 hurts your hand.

As the Arctic Race of Norway drew to a close on Sunday cyclists in the Finnish capital Helsinki were taking to the streets to protest the death of one of their own in a road rage incident. The ride was to move from Kiasma Museum into downtown and involved stopping at the scene of the tragic incident where a “ghost bike” had been set up, with many a candle lit around it. It was a nice gesture and participants were gambling news of their protest would at least raise awareness.

Arctic Race Of Norway Safer For Cyclists Than Downtown Helsinki

Perhaps most unfortunately it didn’t raise awareness in the mind of a bus driver who attempted to merge with the lane of cyclists involved in the protest, causing several of them to become involuntarily dismounted. It is perhaps not entirely surprising that the cyclists took exception to this piece of road-hogging and what followed could best be described as an altercation, although from descriptions the words “rumpus” or “fracas” may well be applicable.

The situation, we’re told, escalated when the bus driver threw a cyclists bike under another bus. Surrounded by a large number of cyclists protesting at road rage, that’s a pretty ballsy move even for a bus driver, although it would seem it was only when a cyclists snatched the drivers keys away from him that the pugilism began. Indeed there were more fisticuffs in Helsinki than at a casino in Batumi during happy hour or even in the army camp the Arctic Race of Norway passed through.

The driver of the bus is under investigation for assault and traffic endangerment, whilst the cyclist who took the keys is being looked at for traffic disruption. Obviously there’s no way to justify the actions of the bus driver, and the protestors evidently have a point about the attitude of local drivers, but that said their actions do draw attention to the largely hidden threat that large groups of cyclists pose, and if you like to bet on sports in Norway and backed Kristoff in the Arctic Race of Norway you’ll know precisely what I mean.